Archive for August, 2007

Death

Aug 29 2007 Published by under Words

The death of the fabricated self,
Whether it precedes or accompanies the death of the body,
Is the only freedom free of confinement.
As we all know: death is not the end,
Nor is it a beginning.

Death is a transition.

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Every word

Aug 13 2007 Published by under Words

Moments in eternity, we feel and know deep within that every word is a lie. Then we forget and fall asleep again.

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Resolution of the Shadow

Aug 11 2007 Published by under Words

What is it that I have been pushing down, resisting, and holding back? What am I hung up on?

The primary mask of personae imposed upon and imprinted into my psyche after being born is that which I have been trying to remove. I have been resisting the imposition of society, the hyper-reality of our modern world, and the responsibilities that accompany any life that is lived in its embrace. I have also been resisting to a lesser extent the road of my own choosing. This is largely due to the fear that accompanies the unknown, the fear of failure, and the fear of the invalidation of my ego. I have allowed that fear to shape and stunt both my actions and development, financially, socially, individually, mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. It has affected me wholly throughout the course of my life, in many ways. By recognizing it, and acting upon that recognition, I am ably nurturing the positive effects and reversing and eliminating the so called negative.

I have been denying, through my actions, the fact that I am subject to having to take responsibility for myself financially and socially in order that I may survive and thrive within the environment to which I contribute and choose to live within. The reason for this denial and resistance is largely due to the disagreements, general and specific, that I think I have with society and the hyper-reality of the modern world.

When I say resistance it is the only thing that comes to mind when I think of the situation that I constantly place myself in. I guess a better way of describing it would be a narrowing of perspective and a numbing of the senses, such that any thought of the future holds no sway over my actions in the present. I’d rather sit and do nothing, slowly wasting, physically and mentally instead of going into the outer world and interacting with others. I guess it’s a sort of self fulfilling prophecy, for some reason I believe that I won’t find anything out there, so I never take the venture. I‘m not connecting with anyone because somehow I’m impervious to feeling anything worthwhile in any interaction. I’ve gone without friends for years, I’ve evaded and blocked out family. It’s like I’ve convinced myself that I don’t give a shit about anything, yet truthfully I do. I guess this is what confusion really is. It’s like I’m floating somewhere far off beyond the reaches of Earth, and yet I’m here at the same time.

I have been largely suppressing my talents and unique abilities as a result of this resistance. I do not wish to serve these masters. I do not wish to be a sheep of their flocks. I believe that independence of thought and action both have tremendous influence in my ability to create what I need and that which is for the highest good.

So now that I have brought these experiences and observations into words, I will choose not to resist but to embrace. I will shift my consciousness and gain a better understanding, a deeper knowing of what it is I am here for.

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Definition

Aug 02 2007 Published by under Words

Sometimes I realize that when I write all I am doing is creating and matrices of concepts that fall short of ever encapsulating anything truthful.

Truth is a fleeting thing, it does not stay fixed in any particular location or definition.
It escapes us only because our minds are dragging like anchors behind us,
Barring us from the present where lies the only truth there ever was and ever will be.

At least that is how it seems.

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